An Easy To Moderate Climb.

'An easy to moderate climb', the guidebook promises. But, halfway up Catbells' spine, she turns to me and says, "I cannot carry on." * We had followed in footprints of dead Roman legions. I'd seen her walk on her hands on Tynemouth beaches. But she cannot carry on. We measured maps by millimetres, drank goats' … Continue reading An Easy To Moderate Climb.

Ether is the new lozenge

Ether is the new lozenge; you'll find it labelled under lounge. In the library they are reading Boudicca's Cumbrian Crown. Her heart is on her sleeve semi-colon her art is in her mouth full stop * The headlines made the locals cry; "I couldn't breathe for ether." "It breaks your effing heart, it does. What … Continue reading Ether is the new lozenge

How I met my future ex-wife.

My future ex-wife is a parchment faced German emigre called Amelie. She's a striking albino with matted hair that, inevitably, every winter grows to such a length that it falls across her coat-wire shoulders like, oh, epaulettes, or wings. Amelie cuts her locks back with kitchen scissors every new year's eve to her jaw, or … Continue reading How I met my future ex-wife.

It’s becoming something

It's becoming something of a thrill to find the kettle partially filled, thus saving me the long haul to the faucet. I walked midweek to Whitley Bay and though I never planned it this way, on a whim, I spent a wage on a wooden spoon, some loose tea, "half a dozen of those fancy … Continue reading It’s becoming something