Forever Blurred.

Ffooks was not a particularly promising student. He excelled at almost nothing. Nothing, that is, apart from one curious skill. Who knows where these blessings come from? Despite being, from an early age, corpulent, he was, surprisingly, Five Counties Junior School Middle Distance Champion three years running. There is an intriguing photo of Ffooks (©The … Continue reading Forever Blurred.

The Crow Court.

Speedy Ange laughs. Don’t know ya up from ya down, do ya. I'm all over the place. They’re cooking up hot knives in the kitchenette; Tammy and Speedy Ange. I’m failing to tune a guitar in the other room. Bare boards and candles and incense. Ash on china. I’m on my back, Tammy’s sunburst Jaguar … Continue reading The Crow Court.

How I met my future ex-wife.

My future ex-wife is a parchment faced German emigre called Amelie. She's a striking albino with matted hair that, inevitably, every winter grows to such a length that it falls across her coat-wire shoulders like, oh, epaulettes, or wings. Amelie cuts her locks back with kitchen scissors every new year's eve to her jaw, or … Continue reading How I met my future ex-wife.

Thug (with pinkie extended).

Voting nine to one in favour of, the members of the annual general meeting of the Mill Dam Seamen's Mission deemed that the sale of alcohol and bar food would be more advantageous to both the charity's future coffers and present patrons than the traditional offerings of hope, faith and charity, and so, later that … Continue reading Thug (with pinkie extended).